I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
