it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize