Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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