when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
