oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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