so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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