Tell her she can't have a vagina
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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