R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Randomize
