Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
