the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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