And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
