hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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