you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
