i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
COCAINE IS GR8
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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