He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
The Olympian is in my bed
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
