he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize