I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
