Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
im holly from the hills drunk
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Did we literally take a cab across the street
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
