Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
