If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
