my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
