Midget sex pt 2 tonight
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
