He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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