i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
