I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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