Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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