i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize