If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
