Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just had sex on a roof
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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