Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
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