I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
