please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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