New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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