i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
