Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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