I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
