I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
