Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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