Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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