The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
