I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
