I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
