I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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