Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
