What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
