I don't think brook has ever known best
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
