Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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