I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
