Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
