was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
it's not cheating when I paid for it
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
