We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
