yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
