Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We just shotgunned beers for America
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
