dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She bit a glass in half.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Pants are for mortals
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
