I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize