My brain says no but my pants say off.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
