I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
