I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
