I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
