Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
We smell like vodka and hangover
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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