I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
