if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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