i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
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