Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We are all done wearing pants today
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
