He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
